surf horoscope

We have a girl that works at Rusty. She’s been to Byron, has heaps of plants in her house and wears nothing but upcycled monks clothing. She is also a clairvoyant and has the best cutback you’ve ever seen.


On average, humans swallow 3 spiders in their sleep per month. With your luck this month you will likely swallow 10. Nice work, overachiever. Reflecting on your current profile picture this month and debating whether or not to change it. Change it, its not flattering. You look like a pig. New month new me. Crop your head out for a better chance of meeting that ‘someone special’.

The waves will not be good for you this month. That shredding for summer routine you think you’re doing isn’t working. All you’re doing is gassing out your arms. You have a 78% greater chance to not get onto any waves this month. #staypissfit