We have a girl that works at Rusty. She’s been to Byron, has heaps of plants in her house and wears nothing but up-cycled monks clothing. She is also a clairvoyant and has the best cutback you’ve ever seen.

February, new year, new me is done. All your great intentions you have set have fallen to the way side. Festival season has gobbled you up and spat you out. Time to reset and focus on the rest of the year. You’re ¼ way through now almost…

You blame your average surfing on the summer slop, ‘the winds are bad, it's too small etc, etc’. We’ve heard them all, but we really know what’s up. You’re a poor man’s Wade Carmichael. Maybe think about taking up golf.

On a positive note, your secret tiktok account you’re hiding from all your mates has doubled from 2 followers to 4 #influencer. So what does the crystal ball have install for you? More of the same with a chance of rain. It’s almost autumn after all.